Don’t let others dictate what you think or how you feel.

Don’t let others dictate what you think or how you feel.

Random crap on a random day.

So, I kind of wanted to delve into this fat acceptance thing a little more. Because y’all know how I get - I obsess over something for a while, then I integrate it into my life, and you don’t have to read about it every. single. day. But until that integration happens, well…you’re stuck with it. Heh.

Anyway, I think a big part of my life has been learning to accept things about myself or my life that aren’t maybe so socially acceptable. For example, my first two kids - now society has come a long way re: racism, but not THAT far.

When Matt was a baby, there were comments about me being a “nigger lover” and about Matt being a “nigger baby.” Those comments happened a lot, and I didn’t give a shit. (Okay, it HURT like a sonofabitch when a relative made the comments, but from strangers? It just pissed me off.)

But I never internalized those things. I didn’t believe then (or now or ever) that having a baby with a black man made me inferior to anyone. I simply refused to accept what a few bigoted dickheads thought of me. I didn’t accept that who I dated made any statement about my value as a person. I did not accept the shame with which they tried to burden me.

Another example: I figured out pretty early on that college just wasn’t for me. I’ve never, ever known what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve fluttered from this to that to this. (The only thing I can say that I have always, always, always wanted to be is a mom. That’s the only vision I ever had for myself continuously.)

So, when people assumed that I dropped out of college because I was lazy or stupid or whatever, I didn’t internalize that. Well…maybe a little, but for the most part, it really hasn’t fazed me. I refuse to let myself be ashamed for not spending money I don’t have on a degree I probably won’t use. (See my comment re: being a mom.)

I think when I finally discovered the “Fatosphere,” (thank you, Mel) I was already prepared for the idea that what other people think doesn’t have to be what I think. I don’t have to be ashamed of myself because I’m fat. I don’t have to internalize what society says is beautiful. I can be me doing my thing, and it’s not only okay, it’s fucking AWESOME.

At the end of the day, THAT is what I want to pass on to my kids. “Be yourself; it’s enough.” (Oh. Also “Old skool rap makes life worth living.” So, those two things.)

Weight loss and body acceptance.

First, I want to apologize for the length of this post. I’m still learning my way around Tumblr, and I THINK I’ve got the whole jump-cut figured out, but if not…well…my b, my b.

Read More

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  -Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Curve: The LOVELIEST distance between two points.
-Mae West

Curve: The LOVELIEST distance between two points.

-Mae West

So, Missy and I were IM’ing about the stuff I’ve been talking about lately, and I told Missy something I want to stop doing is judging big girls for wearing clothes that show more than I think is appropriate.I mean, who the fuck do I think I am judging a girl for wearing size 26 booty shorts? If she feels good, what does it matter to me what she’s wearing? (Although, I do want to know where she found the damn things in her size.)And I’m like that about a LOT of clothing options for fat chicks. Stuff that wouldn’t bother me in the least on a thin person will make me sideeye a fat girl in a hot minute. HOW IS THAT OKAY?Isn’t that effectively saying, “Well, I know I said errybody should be happy in their own skin and say EFF SOCIETY’S STANDARDS, but I didn’t really mean you should, like, APPLY that to your clothing choices!!!”?And really, who am I to judge anyone for what they wear? I roll out in pajama pants on a regular basis. I’m generally found in a t-shirt and yoga pants (when I’m feeling like I have to get dressed). Who made me the fashion police?What it comes down to I think is my own discomfort with my body. I won’t let myself wear some stuff because I’m OMG TOO BIG, so I get jealous when I see big girls who are like, “IDGAF. I’m hot.” I want to drag them down to my level, y’know?On the other hand, as much as it sucks, society does have standards, and people will judge. So, how far should a person go to protect themselves from that? Well, honestly? Right now I’m thinking “Fuck that. Wear what makes you feel beautiful/sexy/whatever. If other people don’t like it, fuck ‘em.”However, let me say this - stop with the booty shorts, bitches. Fat, thin, I don’t care. Stop it. I don’t want to see your ass cheeks unless I’m about to nail you like I’m holding Thor’s hammer, okay? So keep that shit put away. Heh.
P.S. I really must thank my beloved Mel for leading me to so many sites about body acceptance. I feel very empowered by all of this. Mostly, I feel like I must stop putting things on hold ‘til I can buy them in a certain size. I mean, let’s face it - my body is never going to be perfect, no matter how much I weigh. (My dad’s genetic input leads to thick trunk with itty bitty appendages. Us Petersons are truly apple-shaped folks.) So it’s time to wear sundresses and cute t-shirts and whatever else I want. HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES, WORLD?

So, Missy and I were IM’ing about the stuff I’ve been talking about lately, and I told Missy something I want to stop doing is judging big girls for wearing clothes that show more than I think is appropriate.

I mean, who the fuck do I think I am judging a girl for wearing size 26 booty shorts? If she feels good, what does it matter to me what she’s wearing? (Although, I do want to know where she found the damn things in her size.)

And I’m like that about a LOT of clothing options for fat chicks. Stuff that wouldn’t bother me in the least on a thin person will make me sideeye a fat girl in a hot minute. HOW IS THAT OKAY?

Isn’t that effectively saying, “Well, I know I said errybody should be happy in their own skin and say EFF SOCIETY’S STANDARDS, but I didn’t really mean you should, like, APPLY that to your clothing choices!!!”?

And really, who am I to judge anyone for what they wear? I roll out in pajama pants on a regular basis. I’m generally found in a t-shirt and yoga pants (when I’m feeling like I have to get dressed). Who made me the fashion police?

What it comes down to I think is my own discomfort with my body. I won’t let myself wear some stuff because I’m OMG TOO BIG, so I get jealous when I see big girls who are like, “IDGAF. I’m hot.” I want to drag them down to my level, y’know?

On the other hand, as much as it sucks, society does have standards, and people will judge. So, how far should a person go to protect themselves from that? Well, honestly? Right now I’m thinking “Fuck that. Wear what makes you feel beautiful/sexy/whatever. If other people don’t like it, fuck ‘em.”

However, let me say this - stop with the booty shorts, bitches. Fat, thin, I don’t care. Stop it. I don’t want to see your ass cheeks unless I’m about to nail you like I’m holding Thor’s hammer, okay? So keep that shit put away. Heh.

P.S. I really must thank my beloved Mel for leading me to so many sites about body acceptance. I feel very empowered by all of this. Mostly, I feel like I must stop putting things on hold ‘til I can buy them in a certain size. I mean, let’s face it - my body is never going to be perfect, no matter how much I weigh. (My dad’s genetic input leads to thick trunk with itty bitty appendages. Us Petersons are truly apple-shaped folks.) So it’s time to wear sundresses and cute t-shirts and whatever else I want. HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES, WORLD?

So, I’ve decided to write myself a little note every day. Don’t judge. Just enjoy. (And re-pin or re-blog, if you like.)

So, I’ve decided to write myself a little note every day. Don’t judge. Just enjoy. (And re-pin or re-blog, if you like.)

So, yesterday’s post was about teaching my girls that being healthy is what matters, and healthy doesn’t have a size. Today’s post? Well, I have more confessing to do. Specifically, I’m also teaching my girls, albeit accidentally, that negative self-talk is acceptable and appropriate.
I say things like, “UGH! I’m so fat!” or “UGH! I’m so OLD!” So why am I surprised to hear Lenna say the same things? (Well, she doesn’t say she’s old, but she DOES say she’s fat. Look at that girl. She’s beautiful!) Why is it stunning to me that Lenna doesn’t think she’s one of the prettiest girls alive?
I mean, what else COULD I expect when I say the things I do about myself? I’ve taught her that it’s a-okay to pick yourself apart. I’ve taught her that if your hair or your body or whatever aren’t in line with society’s standards, you’re just not that attractive. Of course these girls are never going to achieve perfection - no one does. Not even the dozen or so broads who are supermodels.
My friend, Mel, writes about…well, she writes about lots of stuff really. (Ever heard of The Ruckus? Yeah, THAT Mel. I know!) But yesterday, she wrote about her experience with disordered eating and the mindset that goes along with being a fat chick in our society.
Mel is a badass. She’s overcome the idea that being fat means you should be ashamed. She’s overcome the idea that everyone everywhere will judge her for being overweight. She’s overcome the idea that size is the same as worth as a person. Like I said, Mel is a badass.
So, I’m going to take Mel’s advice about this. I’m going to stop talking shit to myself. First, no one deserves to hear the kind of things I say to myself. Second, I die a little each time I hear Lenna say something bad about herself, and if I want her to quit that shit, I have to quit that shit, too.
Starting today, there’s not going to be any more talk of what size I am, how much I weigh, etc. Those things shouldn’t matter, and I’m done letting those things tell me what I can or can’t, should or shouldn’t do. I’m pretty frigging hot, regardless of size, and it’s damn well time I embrace that.
Anyone who doesn’t agree? Well, fuck ‘em. They don’t matter anyway. Also? Thanks to Mel and Missy for everything they do to force me to see how terrific I am. <3

So, yesterday’s post was about teaching my girls that being healthy is what matters, and healthy doesn’t have a size. Today’s post? Well, I have more confessing to do. Specifically, I’m also teaching my girls, albeit accidentally, that negative self-talk is acceptable and appropriate.

I say things like, “UGH! I’m so fat!” or “UGH! I’m so OLD!” So why am I surprised to hear Lenna say the same things? (Well, she doesn’t say she’s old, but she DOES say she’s fat. Look at that girl. She’s beautiful!) Why is it stunning to me that Lenna doesn’t think she’s one of the prettiest girls alive?

I mean, what else COULD I expect when I say the things I do about myself? I’ve taught her that it’s a-okay to pick yourself apart. I’ve taught her that if your hair or your body or whatever aren’t in line with society’s standards, you’re just not that attractive. Of course these girls are never going to achieve perfection - no one does. Not even the dozen or so broads who are supermodels.

My friend, Mel, writes about…well, she writes about lots of stuff really. (Ever heard of The Ruckus? Yeah, THAT Mel. I know!) But yesterday, she wrote about her experience with disordered eating and the mindset that goes along with being a fat chick in our society.

Mel is a badass. She’s overcome the idea that being fat means you should be ashamed. She’s overcome the idea that everyone everywhere will judge her for being overweight. She’s overcome the idea that size is the same as worth as a person. Like I said, Mel is a badass.

So, I’m going to take Mel’s advice about this. I’m going to stop talking shit to myself. First, no one deserves to hear the kind of things I say to myself. Second, I die a little each time I hear Lenna say something bad about herself, and if I want her to quit that shit, I have to quit that shit, too.

Starting today, there’s not going to be any more talk of what size I am, how much I weigh, etc. Those things shouldn’t matter, and I’m done letting those things tell me what I can or can’t, should or shouldn’t do. I’m pretty frigging hot, regardless of size, and it’s damn well time I embrace that.

Anyone who doesn’t agree? Well, fuck ‘em. They don’t matter anyway. Also? Thanks to Mel and Missy for everything they do to force me to see how terrific I am. <3

Don&#8217;t let others dictate what you think or how you feel.

Don’t let others dictate what you think or how you feel.

Random crap on a random day.

So, I kind of wanted to delve into this fat acceptance thing a little more. Because y’all know how I get - I obsess over something for a while, then I integrate it into my life, and you don’t have to read about it every. single. day. But until that integration happens, well…you’re stuck with it. Heh.

Anyway, I think a big part of my life has been learning to accept things about myself or my life that aren’t maybe so socially acceptable. For example, my first two kids - now society has come a long way re: racism, but not THAT far.

When Matt was a baby, there were comments about me being a “nigger lover” and about Matt being a “nigger baby.” Those comments happened a lot, and I didn’t give a shit. (Okay, it HURT like a sonofabitch when a relative made the comments, but from strangers? It just pissed me off.)

But I never internalized those things. I didn’t believe then (or now or ever) that having a baby with a black man made me inferior to anyone. I simply refused to accept what a few bigoted dickheads thought of me. I didn’t accept that who I dated made any statement about my value as a person. I did not accept the shame with which they tried to burden me.

Another example: I figured out pretty early on that college just wasn’t for me. I’ve never, ever known what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve fluttered from this to that to this. (The only thing I can say that I have always, always, always wanted to be is a mom. That’s the only vision I ever had for myself continuously.)

So, when people assumed that I dropped out of college because I was lazy or stupid or whatever, I didn’t internalize that. Well…maybe a little, but for the most part, it really hasn’t fazed me. I refuse to let myself be ashamed for not spending money I don’t have on a degree I probably won’t use. (See my comment re: being a mom.)

I think when I finally discovered the “Fatosphere,” (thank you, Mel) I was already prepared for the idea that what other people think doesn’t have to be what I think. I don’t have to be ashamed of myself because I’m fat. I don’t have to internalize what society says is beautiful. I can be me doing my thing, and it’s not only okay, it’s fucking AWESOME.

At the end of the day, THAT is what I want to pass on to my kids. “Be yourself; it’s enough.” (Oh. Also “Old skool rap makes life worth living.” So, those two things.)

Weight loss and body acceptance.

First, I want to apologize for the length of this post. I’m still learning my way around Tumblr, and I THINK I’ve got the whole jump-cut figured out, but if not…well…my b, my b.

Read More

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  -Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Curve: The LOVELIEST distance between two points.
-Mae West

Curve: The LOVELIEST distance between two points.

-Mae West

So, Missy and I were IM&#8217;ing about the stuff I&#8217;ve been talking about lately, and I told Missy something I want to stop doing is judging big girls for wearing clothes that show more than I think is appropriate.I mean, who the fuck do I think I am judging a girl for wearing size 26 booty shorts? If she feels good, what does it matter to me what she&#8217;s wearing? (Although, I do want to know where she found the damn things in her size.)And I&#8217;m like that about a LOT of clothing options for fat chicks. Stuff that wouldn&#8217;t bother me in the least on a thin person will make me sideeye a fat girl in a hot minute. HOW IS THAT OKAY?Isn&#8217;t that effectively saying, &#8220;Well, I know I said errybody should be happy in their own skin and say EFF SOCIETY&#8217;S STANDARDS, but I didn&#8217;t really mean you should, like, APPLY that to your clothing choices!!!&#8221;?And really, who am I to judge anyone for what they wear? I roll out in pajama pants on a regular basis. I&#8217;m generally found in a t-shirt and yoga pants (when I&#8217;m feeling like I have to get dressed). Who made me the fashion police?What it comes down to I think is my own discomfort with my body. I won&#8217;t let myself wear some stuff because I&#8217;m OMG TOO BIG, so I get jealous when I see big girls who are like, &#8220;IDGAF. I&#8217;m hot.&#8221; I want to drag them down to my level, y&#8217;know?On the other hand, as much as it sucks, society does have standards, and people will judge. So, how far should a person go to protect themselves from that? Well, honestly? Right now I&#8217;m thinking &#8220;Fuck that. Wear what makes you feel beautiful/sexy/whatever. If other people don&#8217;t like it, fuck &#8216;em.&#8221;However, let me say this - stop with the booty shorts, bitches. Fat, thin, I don&#8217;t care. Stop it. I don&#8217;t want to see your ass cheeks unless I&#8217;m about to nail you like I&#8217;m holding Thor&#8217;s hammer, okay? So keep that shit put away. Heh.
P.S. I really must thank my beloved Mel for leading me to so many sites about body acceptance. I feel very empowered by all of this. Mostly, I feel like I must stop putting things on hold &#8216;til I can buy them in a certain size. I mean, let&#8217;s face it - my body is never going to be perfect, no matter how much I weigh. (My dad&#8217;s genetic input leads to thick trunk with itty bitty appendages. Us Petersons are truly apple-shaped folks.) So it&#8217;s time to wear sundresses and cute t-shirts and whatever else I want. HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES, WORLD?

So, Missy and I were IM’ing about the stuff I’ve been talking about lately, and I told Missy something I want to stop doing is judging big girls for wearing clothes that show more than I think is appropriate.

I mean, who the fuck do I think I am judging a girl for wearing size 26 booty shorts? If she feels good, what does it matter to me what she’s wearing? (Although, I do want to know where she found the damn things in her size.)

And I’m like that about a LOT of clothing options for fat chicks. Stuff that wouldn’t bother me in the least on a thin person will make me sideeye a fat girl in a hot minute. HOW IS THAT OKAY?

Isn’t that effectively saying, “Well, I know I said errybody should be happy in their own skin and say EFF SOCIETY’S STANDARDS, but I didn’t really mean you should, like, APPLY that to your clothing choices!!!”?

And really, who am I to judge anyone for what they wear? I roll out in pajama pants on a regular basis. I’m generally found in a t-shirt and yoga pants (when I’m feeling like I have to get dressed). Who made me the fashion police?

What it comes down to I think is my own discomfort with my body. I won’t let myself wear some stuff because I’m OMG TOO BIG, so I get jealous when I see big girls who are like, “IDGAF. I’m hot.” I want to drag them down to my level, y’know?

On the other hand, as much as it sucks, society does have standards, and people will judge. So, how far should a person go to protect themselves from that? Well, honestly? Right now I’m thinking “Fuck that. Wear what makes you feel beautiful/sexy/whatever. If other people don’t like it, fuck ‘em.”

However, let me say this - stop with the booty shorts, bitches. Fat, thin, I don’t care. Stop it. I don’t want to see your ass cheeks unless I’m about to nail you like I’m holding Thor’s hammer, okay? So keep that shit put away. Heh.

P.S. I really must thank my beloved Mel for leading me to so many sites about body acceptance. I feel very empowered by all of this. Mostly, I feel like I must stop putting things on hold ‘til I can buy them in a certain size. I mean, let’s face it - my body is never going to be perfect, no matter how much I weigh. (My dad’s genetic input leads to thick trunk with itty bitty appendages. Us Petersons are truly apple-shaped folks.) So it’s time to wear sundresses and cute t-shirts and whatever else I want. HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES, WORLD?

So, I&#8217;ve decided to write myself a little note every day. Don&#8217;t judge. Just enjoy. (And re-pin or re-blog, if you like.)

So, I’ve decided to write myself a little note every day. Don’t judge. Just enjoy. (And re-pin or re-blog, if you like.)

So, yesterday&#8217;s post was about teaching my girls that being healthy is what matters, and healthy doesn&#8217;t have a size. Today&#8217;s post? Well, I have more confessing to do. Specifically, I&#8217;m also teaching my girls, albeit accidentally, that negative self-talk is acceptable and appropriate.
I say things like, &#8220;UGH! I&#8217;m so fat!&#8221; or &#8220;UGH! I&#8217;m so OLD!&#8221; So why am I surprised to hear Lenna say the same things? (Well, she doesn&#8217;t say she&#8217;s old, but she DOES say she&#8217;s fat. Look at that girl. She&#8217;s beautiful!) Why is it stunning to me that Lenna doesn&#8217;t think she&#8217;s one of the prettiest girls alive?
I mean, what else COULD I expect when I say the things I do about myself? I&#8217;ve taught her that it&#8217;s a-okay to pick yourself apart. I&#8217;ve taught her that if your hair or your body or whatever aren&#8217;t in line with society&#8217;s standards, you&#8217;re just not that attractive. Of course these girls are never going to achieve perfection - no one does. Not even the dozen or so broads who are supermodels.
My friend, Mel, writes about&#8230;well, she writes about lots of stuff really. (Ever heard of The Ruckus? Yeah, THAT Mel. I know!) But yesterday, she wrote about her experience with disordered eating and the mindset that goes along with being a fat chick in our society.
Mel is a badass. She&#8217;s overcome the idea that being fat means you should be ashamed. She&#8217;s overcome the idea that everyone everywhere will judge her for being overweight. She&#8217;s overcome the idea that size is the same as worth as a person. Like I said, Mel is a badass.
So, I&#8217;m going to take Mel&#8217;s advice about this. I&#8217;m going to stop talking shit to myself. First, no one deserves to hear the kind of things I say to myself. Second, I die a little each time I hear Lenna say something bad about herself, and if I want her to quit that shit, I have to quit that shit, too.
Starting today, there&#8217;s not going to be any more talk of what size I am, how much I weigh, etc. Those things shouldn&#8217;t matter, and I&#8217;m done letting those things tell me what I can or can&#8217;t, should or shouldn&#8217;t do. I&#8217;m pretty frigging hot, regardless of size, and it&#8217;s damn well time I embrace that.
Anyone who doesn&#8217;t agree? Well, fuck &#8216;em. They don&#8217;t matter anyway. Also? Thanks to Mel and Missy for everything they do to force me to see how terrific I am. &lt;3

So, yesterday’s post was about teaching my girls that being healthy is what matters, and healthy doesn’t have a size. Today’s post? Well, I have more confessing to do. Specifically, I’m also teaching my girls, albeit accidentally, that negative self-talk is acceptable and appropriate.

I say things like, “UGH! I’m so fat!” or “UGH! I’m so OLD!” So why am I surprised to hear Lenna say the same things? (Well, she doesn’t say she’s old, but she DOES say she’s fat. Look at that girl. She’s beautiful!) Why is it stunning to me that Lenna doesn’t think she’s one of the prettiest girls alive?

I mean, what else COULD I expect when I say the things I do about myself? I’ve taught her that it’s a-okay to pick yourself apart. I’ve taught her that if your hair or your body or whatever aren’t in line with society’s standards, you’re just not that attractive. Of course these girls are never going to achieve perfection - no one does. Not even the dozen or so broads who are supermodels.

My friend, Mel, writes about…well, she writes about lots of stuff really. (Ever heard of The Ruckus? Yeah, THAT Mel. I know!) But yesterday, she wrote about her experience with disordered eating and the mindset that goes along with being a fat chick in our society.

Mel is a badass. She’s overcome the idea that being fat means you should be ashamed. She’s overcome the idea that everyone everywhere will judge her for being overweight. She’s overcome the idea that size is the same as worth as a person. Like I said, Mel is a badass.

So, I’m going to take Mel’s advice about this. I’m going to stop talking shit to myself. First, no one deserves to hear the kind of things I say to myself. Second, I die a little each time I hear Lenna say something bad about herself, and if I want her to quit that shit, I have to quit that shit, too.

Starting today, there’s not going to be any more talk of what size I am, how much I weigh, etc. Those things shouldn’t matter, and I’m done letting those things tell me what I can or can’t, should or shouldn’t do. I’m pretty frigging hot, regardless of size, and it’s damn well time I embrace that.

Anyone who doesn’t agree? Well, fuck ‘em. They don’t matter anyway. Also? Thanks to Mel and Missy for everything they do to force me to see how terrific I am. <3

Random crap on a random day.
Weight loss and body acceptance.

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I'm a wife and a mom and whatever else I feel like these days. I have issues with focusing for more than...ooh, there's a squirrel in my yard. I'm sorry. What were you saying?

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