So, I’m in a pissy mood today. I have several reasons, all of which are ridiculous and self-centered and shitty. So, let’s talk about them, shall we? I mean, why not judge the fuck out of me on a Monday morning?

1. For the past few weeks, I’ve been kicking my own ass about how fail I am at keeping in touch with people. Then I realized - shit goes BOTH FUCKING WAYS. Phones, roads, texts, e-mails, etc, etc, etc. All of that shit works TWO WAYS. So, I’m not kicking my own ass about it anymore; I’m hating all those motherfuckers that didn’t keep in touch with me, either. HA! HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES?

2. I took a couple of merit tests in an attempt to get a state gig. Passing was 70; I scored 94 and 95.2. Clearly, I passed, and yet, NO ONE IS CALLING ME ABOUT A JOB. So, you know what? FUCK YOU, TOO, JOB PEOPLE. HOW ABOUT THAT?

3. Bill actually works for the state, and I’ve asked him to ask around to see if any of the people he knows could maybe help out with this job thing. Has he done this? Newp. He’s ~busy.~ Apparently, saying a few words to people he talks to every fucking day any-fucking-way is just entirely too much to squeeze into his day.

4. Clearly, I am riding a train to SELFISHLAND today. I want to feel bad about it, but I totally do not feel bad. I’m busy throwing a pity party for myself. I’ll be over it tomorrow, but until then, WATCH OUT, WORLD. TODAY IS NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY.

5. Fuck five. What has five ever done for me?

How about you? Any general crabbery you want to share?